misuse ~ jargon ~ vagueness ~ cliche ~ redundancy ~ filler
television weather forecaster cartoon

"Bad Weather Words", we've all used them...

Other professions have jargon like deplane, contusion, laceration, combustion, disembark, alleged perpetrator, but weather has its share. A good weather presenter wants to avoid bad weather words and...

MISUSE = Lack of understanding of concept, or just speaking the way others speak without thinking.

JARGON = Forgetting audience level of understanding or trying to impress the audience or your boss.

VAGUENESS = As solid as a cirrus cloud, as clear as OVC F BS VIS1/10, as straight as an Omega Block, and as understandable as the Equations of Motion

VERBOSITY = Inability or unwillingness to express a thought with a minimum number of words in a succinct sentence or sentences due to a lifelong pattern of attempting to extend, modify, or otherwise increase the amount of data that flows from your brain through your mouth in efforts to avoid using punctuation that signals the end of a thought while simultaneously reducing the amount of data stored on one’s brain which is an inability or unwillingness to express a thought with a minimum number of words...

CLICHÉ = It’s beginning to look a lot like... everybody talks about the weather, so please don’t steal my thunder, while raindrops keep falling on my head, during the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer, otherwise Jack Frost and Old Man Winter won’t show me the money.

Keep your forecasts down to Earth. Stay out of the ego-sphere. There's no law that says don't use these words, just think about what you are really saying or how people might misinterpret them. If you want another laugh, or maybe your first laugh, check out Just Another Weathercast.

cold air pushing in what is it pushing?
trough lifts lifting what?
risk of showers a risk implies danger
moving se to ne that would be moving north
better chance of can there be a worse chance?
fog lifting what is the fog lifting?
the weather is supposed to be according to whom?
normally, the high is is that really statistics?
twice as cold twice as cold as what?
hot temperatures that's simply hot air
arrived on schedule who scheduled it?
few and far between between what?
the brunt of the storm what is a brunt?
gathering steam sounds like a fogged mirror
raining to beat the band who made this up?
century mark that would be in Century, Florida
acre who really knows how big this is?
kilometer not in the U.S.
gradient you surely must mean slope
normal are you normal?
precipitation well, what kind is it?
cell only prisoners get this one
bomb nobody wants to hear that
rain on your parade now, that's clever
backside you sit on that
entrainment they serve mints in trains?
deep moisture swimming pool
nautical miles mariners delight
statute miles is that under a state law?
in the next 36 to 48 hours who talks like that?
embedded thunderstorms sounds like a battle
high builds in building into what?
tornadic thunderstorm ...from Tornadoville?
departure from normal the bus departs Normal at 12:15
clouds are organizing unions work for the common man
radar returns please have your receipt ready
radar echoes can you hear that... can you hear that
satellite imagery imagery or image or just satellite
a better chance for storms what's better about a storm?
water vapor loop play Misty again
visible satellite at night it's invisible
excessive rainfall that's a lot
in effect I knew a guy who lived in Effect
at the surface where else?
moisture field swamp
moisture tongue that's almost x-rated
severe shower huh?
high profile vehicle Lamborghini or Winnebago?
inches of mercury or millimeters
high and dry kick the habit
high pressure doming down how can you dome down?
return flow call a plumber
exercise caution take caution to the gym
streamline everyone line up at the stream
piece of energy that is x-rated
diurnal use this daily
stall out stall out, stall in, stall on, just stall
weather is expected by whom?
threat level is upgraded is a higher threat an upgrade?
wet, wacky, and wild clouds gone wild
thunderstorm activity sounds like a party
the barometer is falling catch it
temperature department isn't that near men's apparel?
rain event is it free to the public?
if you liked today what if you didn't?
if you don't like the weather just wait and then you'll hate it
what a difference a day makes name that tune
garden variety what do you grow in your garden?
packing a punch make sure it doesn't leak out
locally heavy try diet and exercise
chunk of real estate is this phrase your property?
for the most part 51%
picture perfect don't blur the lines
fly in the ointment scary buzz
trail of terror opening Friday at a theater near you
death and destruction Armageddon
snapped like toothpicks who actually snaps toothpicks?
residents are picking up the pieces let there be pieces on Earth
tossed like toys someone needs a spanking
sounded like a freight train yes, I do live by the train tracks
the old one-two punch why not the old rope-a-dope?
getting hammered friends don't let friends drive drunk
impressive storms they've worked hard on presentation
wall to wall that's carpeting the issue
keep your umbrella handy who says that?
hit or miss is there any other option?
under the gun that's better than being in front
adding fuel to the fire must be a hot topic
neck of the woods where's the head of the woods?
double whammy what's a whammy?
a new record set all new records are set
barometric pressure that's like thermometric temperature
a short period of time delete "period of"
frontal boundary what's the definition of a front?
in the next five days ahead next = ahead
tornado on the ground where else would it be?
dangerous lightning as compared to safe lightning?
the weather outside all weather is outside
the clouds in the sky that's where they should be
completely demolished demolished is total and complete
reached new milestone all milestones are new
submerged underwater submerged = under water
close proximity proximity = degree of closeness
safe haven haven = place of safety
heavy downpour is there a light downpour?
the sky above where else could it be?
currently right now currently = right now
moving on off delete on and/or off for same result
cool down what other direction can you cool?
warm up you surely can't warm down
neither her nor there sounds like neverland
six and one half dozen of the other that doesn't add up
if we could just bottle it up who would ship it?
just doesn't get any better so it's as good as it gets?
as good as it gets, folks so it just doesn't get any better?
yet and still sounds like a folk band
part and parcel take that and ship it
as I said who said that?
before all is said and done In the beginning...
by far and large it's a long way from here
as you can see Can everyone see?
there's not much going on then stop talking!
so to speak you are speaking

This list is intended for fun and for the betterment of weather presentations. It may not be re-posted or redistributed without consent of copyright holder, but you may freely link to it. Alan Sealls